FLOYD MAYWEATHER PROMISES TO GIVE THREE DOLLARS TO CHARITY FOLLOWING PACQUIAO FIGHT

In what members of his entourage are calling “an unprecedented charitable donation”, Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather has promised to give three dollars of his $180 million fee for fighting Manny Pacquiao to a worthy charity.

“I might like to wash my balls in Cristal, wipe my ass using fifty dollar bills and use Faberge eggs as rocks to throw at people I find ugly, but I still like to give back,” said Mayweather at a press conference, hosted on a platform made of imported Amazonian human, “That’s why I’m donating three dollars to the Floyd Mayweather foundation, which advances the cause of children named Floyd or Mayweather.”

Mayweather refused to comment on his opponent’s $40 million donation of his fight fee to charity, instead directing journalists attention to the diamond encrusted tooth pick that he was about to throw down a nearby toilet.

The majority of the revenue is set to come from millions of pay-per-view subscribers in the USA and internationally. Professor Loball of the University of Chicago has calculated that given the primary demographic of subscribers, the pay-per-view fee is effectively the most regressive taxation in history.

Mayweather emails Oxfam telling them to fuck off.